Some of the Cutest Text Jokes I've gotten Lately

I've gotten some really cute texts lately for the holidays, and I am going to post them here as I get them, so I will be updating and making a new post out of this if I get any more. So far these are the cutest:

Text 1: "I wanted to mail you something cute for Christmas, but the mailman told me to take the stamp off my butt and get my ass out of the mail box!"

Text 2: "Please come and get Santa! He's standing outside my house hollering 'Ho, Ho, Ho', but I keep telling him you don't live here!"

Text 3: Six ways to confirm Santa is a man: He shows up late, eats your cookie, empties his sack, he comes only once, calls you a ho, and then leaves while you sleep.

Will add more as I get them. If you have any cute ones, put them in the comments!