Sunday, November 30, 2008

Ah, you gotta love him!

Rat Man was standing in the kitchen earlier and I walked up behind him and put my arms around his waist and said "So, you are going out of town tomorrow, does that mean I get sex tonight?"

To which he replies, without missing a beat, "Ummmm...maybe...I'll make some calls."



Friday, November 28, 2008

I don't even know where to begin on this one...

I don't think there are strong enough words in the English language (or any other language for that matter) that can be used to describe the horrendous stupidity that led to this:

I can't even begin to come close to expressing how sickening this is! And the worst part? There is no cure or fix for people who are so unbelievably, incredibly stupid. They are still walking the planet thinking that they are so entitled to EVERYTHING that next year they will be right there participating in the idiocy again.

I hope they are able to identify a bunch of these assholes and I hope they rot in jail. I hope many of them have so much guilt (although I seriously doubt they are capable of it) that they cannot live with themselves.

ANYONE who gets out on Black Friday (or worse yet, loiters outside the stores for 24 hours before hand), and pushes and shoves, curses children, uses violence and intimidation, and tramples people and just keeps going, all to save a few bucks is a sick, sick, sick, sick, sick individual and should live their lives in abject shame. My daughter works for Wal Mart customer relations and you would be terrified if you knew what the people that live next door to you are capable of.

Okay that is all I have to say on this subject. It makes me want to vomit.


Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Shameless Ebay Plug

Update: I dropped the starting price down to get these moving. Maybe someone will have a toddler that can wear them! My neice is 4 so if you know of anyone with a child around that age then send them my way:o) I just don't want to be stuck with these. I am thinking if they don't sell then I may get with Crystal and see if we can find someone to donate them to.


Okay, I promise not to do this very often, BUT I bought my neice a pair of pink Mammoth Crocs for her B-Day and they are not the right size. They are kids 10/11. So I need to sell them and get a bigger size.

Of course they are brand new with the tags still attached. She never even tried them on because we knew they were too little just by looking at them.

I am going to put the link here for anyone to check it out. I started the listing at $18.99 so I can try to recoup some of what I paid ($22.99 + $7.00 shipping) before I order her a new pair.

So again, I promise not to do this all the time, I just need to sell these shoes. They are TOO CUTE for words, and would be a GREAT Christmas gift! (Hint-Hint;o)

Check 'em out if you want and bid if you are interested in them:o) If you know of anyone that is looking for a good deal on a pair in that size, then send 'em my way! I have 100% positive feedback, my seller feedback is spotless (I had a couple of bitches who retaliated on some feedback that I left for THEM when I was the buyer), so I am trustworthy and would send them out ASAP!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Will the REAL Will Smith Shut the Hell Up?

Okay, I have always liked Will Smith. He is a good actor, he is funny, he never does really crazy things in the press, etc. etc.

H-O-W-E-V-E-R, all of that stops here and now.

The Stupidest Statements by a Parent Award goes to....Envelope Please....

Will Smith! (Bet you didn't see THAT coming!)

Will you are getting this award for 2 reasons:

When your daughter had a movie in theaters at the same time you did, and when she asked you if you thought hers would make more money than yours, you laughed at her, mocked her and bascially made her feel like shit. Not once, but TWICE. Congratulations.

I saw a quote the other day, stating that when your children will not clean their rooms, you tell them that they are not THEIR rooms, they are yours and you only "let" them live in them. Way to give them the love and security that children crave. Asshole.

So here's to you, Will Smith, there may be others who are more deserving, but that doesn't mean that you don't deserve it as well.

So, Mr. Will Smith I hope you will accept this award, I hope you will take it in the spirit in which it is intended, and then kindly shove it up your ass.


Saturday, November 22, 2008

The "Things You Never Want to Hear Come Out Your Daughter's Mouth" Files

**Note-This one is a little graphic, so if you are easily offended, you are in the wrong place, dumbass, so leave now and please don't come back then you shouldn't read further.

This is one entry that I would have to include the above mentioned "file".

"So what is wrong with your boyfriend saying 'Take it Bitch!' during sex?"-Jokingly commented by my 19-year-old to her sister, which I overheard while they were reading a Cosmo article in the living room.

Ummm, yeah. It is a proud moment. She has such a "wonderful" sense of humor. I think I will go and slap Rat Man now.


Friday, November 21, 2008

Are Celebrities from THIS Planet???

It seems Ashley Simpson has given birth. All together now..."AWWWWW".....

I can't even stop laughing long enough to type the name they gave this poor child...

Are you ready?

Bronx Mowgli. Yes, Mowgli like in The Jungle Book. Why didn't they get REALLY creative and call him Queens Bagheera???

ARE celebrities from this planet? Or are they just fucking stupid????

The world may never know.


Sunday, November 16, 2008

Family Sucks

My great-neice has a birthday on the 25th. Her younger sister has hers in June.

Ever since the day they were born, I normally get them BOTH something on both birthdays. That is just what great-aunts do. And I love them beyond reason.

This Sunday we have to go to my mothers for "Thanksgiving" (don't EVEN get me started on that) so I am going to give them their gifts then. (I got them each a pair of Mammoth Crocs and they are PINK and too cute for words!)

I was getting ready to wrap them when it dawned on me that if I give my great-neices their gifts, then I should really have something for my neice (not their mother, HER sister, their aunt, she is 12), and then I thought if I got her something then I really should get something for my 2 nephews, even though they are teenagers and probably wouldn't have even thought about it. Soooo today I went shopping.

When I got home I was thinking about the fact that I had gotten them all gifts. And you know what? Neither my sister NOR my brother has EVER bought my children a birthday gift. As far as I know they have never bought anything for each other's kids either, but you know, that is beside the point. I have bought lots of things for my neices and nephews over the years.

Family just sucks.

There is a great line on "The Wedding Date" that I just love. Debra Messing and Dermot Mulroney are on the plane on the way to the event and she says to him "You know how some families are crazy, but at the end of the day you love them because they are your family?", to which he nods and she says, "Mine aren't like that."

Yep, just about sums it up.


Saturday, November 15, 2008

Caution....Adults at Play

I'm sorry if this is a dull post. I have been feeling kinda "BLAH" all week, and I think my poor blog has paid the price. But I am trying to get it together!

Since I hadn't felt well, and I babysit for a 2 year old (and he drives me nuts), I was SOOOOO ready this weekend to get out and do some adult stuff.

So Rat Man and I decided to hit the casino. We like to go 3 or 4 times a year, normally on a special occasion like New Years and our anniversary (and he is headed out of town tomorrow for business, so we wanted to do something together; kind of a "date night"). I am happy to say that tonight we put $60 in the machines and came out with $150. Now that is what I call a trip to the casino!

You know, we were sitting there side by side playing the same type of slots, and after a while I have to say I got bored. I don't know how ANYONE can sit there for hours and hours and just keep hitting that button and watching the "bars" and "7s" roll by.

I know that for some people gambling becomes an addiction. As a matter of fact, I have seen first hand what it can do to people because I have seen it in my family. But it is not something that I can completely understand. I mean it is fun for a couple of hours, but then I am more than ready to leave. We always take in a certain amount as our "playing money" and if it all goes in a short time, then we leave. If we play it up and then keep playing and lose it all, no big deal, we chalk up the cost to an evening of fun. If we have been there a while and we are up to $100 on the $20 we put in, WE TAKE IT AND RUN.

We have a favorite meat locker that we had to pass on the way to the casino in Joplin and we stopped there and got ground beef tonight. We got 10 lbs which cost us $30. We had filled the car with gas before we left ($25) and when we got to Joplin we ate, which cost $25. We had a couple of little things that were around $5. All in all we came out about $5 ahead. So I got beef, dinner out, gas (NO not in that order, it was not THAT kind of gas), some grown up fun and 5 bucks.

I think it was a good night. I feel so much better now that I got out of the house and had a little fun. And free food and gas was just icing on the cake!

Hopefully I will be back to posting my normal opinionated sarcasm by the first of the week. I know you are all waiting anxiously for that!


Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Life is just a bowl of...well, never mind...

I have been feeling like total shit the past few days. The migraine never really went all the way away, so I kinda suspected that it was my sinuses. Explosive sneezes the past couple of days confirmed that. (Yeah, I know, YUCK.)

To top it off, yesterday when I went to the bathroom it hurt my bladder.

So now that you are sufficiently briefed on my bodily functions, I will get to the point. Which is, not only do I have a sinus infection, but I have a bladder infection as well. How cool am I?

Now if my ingrown toenails would just start acting up, I would feel like a well rounded individual. I could truthfully say that I hurt from head to toe. But, thankfully, they are feeling pretty good right now.

So I will take my medicine like a good girl and will hopefully be my usually, sunny, sweet self by the weekend.

Here's hoping ;o)

Sunday, November 9, 2008

I am still alive!

I need to apologize to my readers for my silence the past few days, but I was just so busy enjoying what I like to call "Migraine Days"! YAY!

You see this is a little-known holiday that I get to go on ever so often, and when I am there, I am usually having such a GREAT time that I just can't stop to do anything else!

I do have a story from my "holiday", but sorry no pictures this time. (And no, I didn't bring you anything!)

I babysit for a little boy (he will be 3 in January) with a heart condition (not that you need to know that for the purposes of this story, but I thought I would throw that in).

Friday morning when he got here (at 5:30 am) my headache had progressed from "it really hurts", to "it fucking hurts". I had my meds, but they were NOT working, so when he got here we headed back to bed. We settled in with books, toys, and Spongebob in his rightful place on the TV (ever watch Spongebob when you have a migraine? I don't recommend it!).

Now you have to understand when "Monster Boy" is sleepy, he likes to play with my hair, and me being one of those people who would rather have her hair brushed than have sex, I NEVER complain. Pretty soon he started getting sleepy, so he plopped down on the pillow and started to play with my hair. No problem.

Then he stopped.

I was about half asleep, but I could have sworn I heard a kind of squishy, liquid kind of sound, but I just dismissed it.

His hands go back into my hair.

Squishy liquid sound.

Hands in the hair.

Squishy sound.

Hands in the-

Oh, shit.

In my fuzzy, pain enveloped brain it suddenly dawned on me what was happening. I touched my hair, and yep, you have probably guessed it, my hair had been spit-styled.

The hot shower and shampooing my hair actually helped the pain a little. And I know one little boy who better be glad that it did.


Monday, November 3, 2008

Here we go again....

Well tomorrow is THE day. The day we find out who the next president of the United States will be. The day we find out who was able to tell more lies on the other candidate so well that everyone believed it and voted for them. A day that I should be proud of, because it signals the fact that we are free to choose who we want to run our country. Why is it that I just feel…well…TIRED.

Is it just me or does it seem like this election has lasted a LIFETIME? And, again, is it just me, or do Obama and McCain remind you of 2 little kids, standing with a broken vase at their feet, each pointing to the other and saying “He did it!” Can’t we just ground them both? Take away their toys? Send them to bed without dessert?

The fact is elections are just getting uglier. It won’t be long before debates will rival The Jerry Springer Show. Ding, ding! Most of it will have to be “bleeped” to prevent another censor meltdown ala Janet Jackson & Superbowl XXXVIII! No, actually, the way TV is going, pretty soon it will be an anything goes free-for-all.

I was thinking how men like George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and Abe Lincoln would be so disgusted at the way this country and its government behave themselves today. When we tell others that we are Americans, we shouldn’t have to be embarrassed, but lately I feel that we should be blushing when we say it (even though I doubt there are very many of us left who even know how to blush. I wonder if that ability will disappear someday as evolution decides we don’t need it anymore like it did excessive body hair). No one seems to be embarrassed or ashamed of ANYTHING anymore. (Not that I am 100% innocent myself! Just read this blog!)

I don’t know, maybe I am just in a bad mood (imagine that!), but I will just be glad to see this election end and get on with it. Either way we are probably screwed, so let’s just do it already. It's like pulling off a bandaid. You know it is going to hurt, so let's just get it over with.

And remember, we have the right to vote. We have the freedom to vote. But we also have the freedom to choose not to if that is what we want to do (or in this case DON'T want to do). And I am NOT saying that I don’t vote. (So before anyone decides to enlighten me on my sacred duty, just save it.) I am just saying that if you choose not to, then you have that right. That is what freedom is all about.

I think I will just stay in bed with a jar of Skippy. Someone wake me on Wednesday.