Saturday, May 30, 2009

"Diversity" is the Spice of Life

Well, I didn't actually watch Britains Got Talent but there was enough buzz to generate some interest so I did visit the site occasionally.

Although Susan Boyle was favored to win, and she is just an amazing singer (and was quite a surprise) I knew she was up against a tough competitor as soon as I laid eyes on the extremely innovative dance group Diversity. If you have not seen them dance, you, my friend are MISSING OUT. This group of young men are BEYOND AWSOME! I told hubby last night that I would love to see them win, and they took the prize!

I do hope that Susan Boyle is offered a singing contract though, and likely she will be, but you have to admit that Diversity deserved THIS prize.

I hope to see more of them in the future. If nothing else, just to see what they come up with next.

Watch their audition here:

Watch their semi-final performance here:

And there is a third, final and just as FABULOUS one here:

The performances aren't that long, won't take much time from your life, and I can ASSURE you they will not disappoint! As a matter of fact, you might just take the time to watch them again!

Congrats Diversity! And Susan Boyle, thank you for letting us nearly-40-year-olds know that your dreams should never die just because you happen to be a certain age! I wish you nothing but the very best!

Congrats to all of you!


Friday, May 22, 2009

Oh, no! Say it Ain't So!


I really AM upset. I LOVE this show! These people are my heroes. Who will I look up to now? I knew that it was a possibility, but I just really never imagined it would happened. What kind of a world do we live in?????

I am simply devastated, and I am going to go to bed and cover up my head and I'm going to stay there, FROM NOW ON.

I just can't deal with something so terrible. I feel like friends have died!

Earl, Randy, Joy, Catalina, Darnell aka "Crab Man", Patty the "Daytime Hooker" and of course, Kenny, and everyone else who has passed so briefly through my life, may you rest in peace.

You will be SORELY missed!


Quick Edit: There is a RUMOR that Fox may pick up Earl for Primetime. They have it right now in syndication, so maybe they will. I am keeping my white-trash-lovin' fingers crossed!


Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Cheesus, Schmeesus

So apparently someone found a Cheeto that looks like Jesus. Personally I think more "Uncle Jesse", but what the hell do I know?

As I posted in Mr. McKnob's comments I have a "penis" Cheeto, (or like I asked there, would that be a "Chenis" maybe or would you call it a "Peeto"). It even has "the twins" if you know what I mean... but anyway...

I actually have had it for like 5 years in a baggie and I show it to everyone. It's really quite hilarious.

I wonder if I could sell IT on Ebay? I should upload a photo...


Monday, May 18, 2009

The Other White Meat...

My cousin, Mindy (yes the same cousin who pulled her own teeth out when she was a kid), sent me a text earlier and I had to share it.

It said, "For all those men that say 'Why by the cow when you can get the milk for free', here is an updated version for you: Nowadays 80% of women are against to marriage. Why? Because women realize that it is not worth buying the entire pig, just to get a little sausage."

I think that is probably one of the best comebacks I have ever heard. Feel free to pass that along:o)


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Now We Know....

One day I called AT&T to check on the order for the Tomboy's new cell phone. I was on hold for 20 minutes before I finally gave up.

Now I think I know why.

I would hate to think what the refrigerators at these people's homes look like.


Monday, May 4, 2009

The Best Book on the Planet-And It's Mine! ALL MINE!

The Tomboy and I were in Barnes and Noble the other day and as we walked past a bin of marked down books I saw it. It was like a revelation. It was like (for me) finding Quivira or Cíbola!

There it lay before me, shining in the overhead fluorescent lighting, or maybe it was putting forth its own light, like a beacon, calling to me from among the mounds of "Changing a Light Bulb for Dummies" and "South Beach Diet" books.

I reached for it, seemingly in slow motion, nearly panicked that someone else would walk by me and snatch it up before I could get my hands on it's glossy cover.

I picked it up carefully, basking it its weight, its perfect covers, opening it and stroking the pages. I hugged it to me taking in the smell of its crisp clean pages.

I knew that in my hands was the epitome of great literature and it was mine. (Well, it would be after I paid the mere $9.99 + tax that would forever after make it my own.) Over the years I have dedicated my life to reading the works that are contained in this book. It is a collection of brilliance. I have read many, many of the wonders that this book contains and read them cover to cover.

How could it be that this book had found its way to the clearance bin? What travesty of justice caused the book to be......oh I can barely bring myself to type the words......MARKED DOWN. **SOB** It is a disgrace to great writers everywhere. I mean if this could happen to THIS book it could happen to ANY book.

It was very difficult to hand the book over to the cashier, who I might add gave me the strangest look when he went to take it from me and I couldn't release it. He tugged harder, nearly pulling me over the counter. I was so afraid that something would happen to it. I winced when he scanned it, gritted my teeth as he bagged it, held my breath when he finally took my money handing me my change and then, at last, the bag that contained my prized find.

And now, as I sit here typing, it is snuggled next to me. I only have to turn my head slightly to gaze upon its colorful dust jacket, knowing that within the binding lies the answer to some of the worlds most puzzling questions.

Yes, that's right. I found this copy of "Mad for Decades: 50 Years of Forgettable Humor from MAD Magazine". Ah, yes, there is a God, Alfred E. Neuman be thy name!

And yes, I do know that you are laughing at me right now and thinking what an idiot I am. But, hey, we all have to believe in SOMETHING.